


Kreise Der Spiralen

by MercifulIdiot



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, Being Homura Is Suffering, Doomed Timelines, Gen, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3605649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercifulIdiot/pseuds/MercifulIdiot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day, Homura wakes up, only to find that all her magical girl powers have disappeared, leaving her as nothing more than a frail human with heart disease, serious mental issues, and bad eyesight.</p><p>With such a huge disadvantage this time around, can she still save Madoka from her fate?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Time

Sunday, May the 1st

Somewhere in this world, there is a cycle. A cycle that spins around again and again, in time, possibly unto eternity.

But this is no ordinary cycle, not one of formula or mechanics. No, not at all.

This is a cycle of  **choice.**

The girl responsible for it, refusing to give up each time, possesses an unwavering will to save her friend. She made a deal with the devil, gained amazing powers, and created this cycle for the one purpose of saving her closest friend, whose destiny is to always die. Her mission had always been to change an unchangeable future, and even after having repeated the same month so many times now that she had lost count, she still hasn't given up yet.

She always has the option to walk away safely, and live a peaceful life far away from the city and the one girl she cares about.

She always has the chance to end this nightmare and begin anew, without any attachments to the old world.

But she will never take it.

Instead, at the end of yet another failure, she will always reach for the mechanical shield and click it, restarting her mission yet again. A cycle.

Yet even at the height of her potential, she cannot accomplish anything but failure.

And yet, there is no end.

To say that there is an 'end' would be to assume that this girl will eventually give up on her friend after so long. The human mind is flawed, but her unwavering determination to save her friend is something that will never ever change. 

Because of this, it can rival even the most miniscule of possibilities. Infinity dictates that within infinity, anything can happen regardless of the chances. By this logic, even a circle with a perfectly logical circumference can spiral out of control, as nonsensical as this may sound to a human being who has never attempted to fully understand the concept of 'eternity'.

In other words, within infinity, what is seemingly an infinite circle may end up being finite. And in that unlikely event, should the details of this circle ever change by even the slightest note, the future that the circle dictates may just change forever.

It won't even be a proper circle anymore, once infinity overtakes it. It will have become a  _circle of spirals._

_*click*_

And that is how the story of Akemi Homura goes.

 

* * *

  

Wednesday, March 16th 

Another failure.

Homura's eyes reluctantly opened up, only to find that there were tears in her eyes. Wiping them away, she shook her head as she pushed away her own personal feelings.

She had learned a lot this time, so she wasn't about to let this new information go to waste. With each reset, she was getting closer and closer to her goal. She  _had_ to be.

So there was no way she was going to give up now.

Getting up, she didn't even bother to move her gaze about. She'd lost track of the amount of times she had to go through this. Having woken up in this room so many times now, every detail of this room had ended up being burnt into her mind, so much that she couldn't forget it even if she wanted to.

The nearby desk with a purple pen, a glass of water, and the admittance information slip on it. The bright morning sunlight, penetrating diagonally towards her through open gaps in the wide blue curtains. The opened window near at the end to the right which was open, allowing the sounds of blowing wind to come in. The rolling stand in front of her bed, which could easily fall with but a light push on her part. The pale turquoise blue sky showcased in the window not too far behind it, with two small clouds floating high up, one them obscuring the top-left corner, and the other of which would float out of her current line of sight within the next seven minutes. The green trees which were visible below, and would rustle to the wind about three times a minute. The bird that would begin chirping within the next three minutes and stop by the fourth. The nurse who would come to meet her within ten minutes to inform her about the discharge, by which time she would already be prepared to leave.

There was no need to glance at the calendar behind her, which had the '16th' all scribbled over. Once upon a time, Homura might've been excited about this day, but that was long before she had to relieve it over and over again.

Homura picked herself up from the bed, only to find her arms wobble as she did so. That was odd, but she quickly dismissed it as her own weakness. There was also a throbbing in her head, and a numb feeling in her chest. She couldn't let things like these get to her.

She'd managed to get this far, after all.

_This time, I will definitely save Madoka._

With determination, she threw off the sheets and jumped down from the bed…

…only for her feet to lose their balance, and Homura hit the floor hard on her face.

She took a moment to groan out in pain.

 _What's wrong with me?!_ Convinced that this was a result of her own mental state of mind, she scolded herself.  _Get up!_

Gathering her strength, Homura picked herself back up. There was a pain in her chest and slight numbness around her right cheek, but she dismissed it. It was unimportant. What  _was_  important was Madoka needed her right now. She couldn't just stand around here and do nothing. Reaching out for her Soul Gem, she suddenly realized that it wasn't there.

_Calm down. I must have misplaced it somewhere. Maybe it's on me somewhere, or maybe I left it in the bed. I can't let myself worry about that right now._

Upon reassuring herself, Homura took a step forward. It was weaker than usual, but after a bit of thought, it was only natural. It looked as if the past was finally catching up to her.

Brushing it off, she forced herself to retain her balance and made her way to the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, she looked reminiscent of a certain girl she used to be, only with a sharply cold look behind those purple eyes. Apart from that, it also looked tired somehow, most likely just from the stress, something she could easily overcome. She untangled her thickly-braided, letting her dark hair flow straight. Then she moved to take off her red-framed glasses.

All of a sudden, everything around her blurred.

In confusion, she put them back on again, and her sight returned back to normal. There was something really strange going on here. But it was most likely just fatigue. Stress. What was that thing called again? Post-traumatic stress disorder? It was probably that. But she had come this far, so she couldn't let something like that hinder her now. 

Taking off her glasses again, she stubbornly tried to force her eyes into focusing on her surroundings as she left the room and sat back down on the hospital bed.

Any minute now, her body should return back to normal.

_Breathe._

All she needed was a little relaxation, and then she'd be good as new.

_Relax._

_This time...  
_

_This time for sure, I'll definitely save her!_

…

Nothing was happening.

As Homura sat, a thought crossed her mind –  _I can't waste my time here._

Having learned from countless experience, anything could happen. One event easily led to another, and even if she did nothing, things changed. Like the timeline when that Kyousuke guy used a guitar instead of a violin for some reason, or the timeline when someone called Oriko showed up out of nowhere and royally screwed up all of her plans.

She had spent so much time repeating the same formaics over and over again that it was beginning to get really distracting. Even the tiniest factor could potentially change what she understood about this timeline and influence  _her_  decision into making a contract.

 _But this time,_  she decided,  _I won't let that happen._

Forcing her body to move normally even though it was feeling so weak, she went towards the open window and felt fresh air blow against her skin, though that wasn't her intention. The winds were a little heavy from up here, and glancing at the surface below, it appeared to be just two or three stories in height. This height was nothing to someone like her, who'd previously dropped from skyscrapers without any problem.

Still, it was getting difficult to breathe for some reason, and her heart was beginning to beat faster as she felt something dull press against it. Maybe it was panic.

Homura was a Puella Magi, and thus, something like this should be nothing to her. Her body had to be reminded that it wasn't human anymore. For Madoka.

All this, for the one goal of saving Madoka. Nothing else mattered. Not this hospital, not school, not her parents, not even the whole world itself, just Madoka.

"With my own power, I'll carve a future for you," she swore to herself in conviction.

That said, Homura pulled the window fully open with all her strength. The ground looked a long way away, but to a magical girl, it was nothing. As her heart raced, the throbbing in her chest had begun to intensify.

She ignored it to the best of her ability, forcing her terrified body to move forward, and prepared to leap out—

**"OH MY GOD!"**

The sound of a nurse's shriek echoed throughout the entire hospital hallway.

 

* * *

 

Friday, March the 18th

Akemi Homura should've been discharged two days ago.

Instead, she had to spend another two days going through psychiatric treatment over what was perceived as an attempted suicide. As much as she protested against it, the hospital viewed her action as such based on the nurse's report.

What had happened was that right after the nurse shrieked, a surprised Homura lost her grip and awkwardly stumbled back onto the floor.

It was only a couple of hours later after the event that she was speaking with a therapist and a report had been filed to her parents – wait, parents? She'd almost forgotten she had such people. They were always so busy, but due to this, she doubted that they would ever notice her circumstances. Having never bothered to send a message or anything to her in all this time, in every alternate timeline, why start now?

In any case, Homura had to keep on insisting that it was only a misunderstanding. While they still weren't convinced, the hospital reluctantly relented and allowed her to leave today.

Two days late.

So far, everything about this timeline had turned out to be absolutely infuriating. She wouldn't be surprised if she arrived at Mitakihara Middle School only to find out that Madoka had already made a contract.

Then there was the  _core_  of the problem, something that would take a while to get used to.

When she first realized it, she began screaming at how horrible this timeline had turned out so far and let her frustration out on a pillow, which only served to reinforce the hospital's belief that she was suicidal. Her Soul Gem wasn't gone because she lost it. It was gone because it had just stopped existing, taking all of her powers with it. Her soul was back where it belonged. Apparently, she was human again.

Right now, Homura was just a frail little girl with heart disease, serious mental issues, and a pair of glasses.

There was no way she could protect Madoka like this. She wasn't even sure if she could reset the timeline in this state.

Right now, all she wanted to do was shove a grenade down Kyubey's throat.

But there  _was_  some hope. Maybe Kyubey didn't exist in this timeline, which explained why she didn't have her powers anymore. If that was the case, then Madoka could live an ordinary life without any witches or insane magical girls to suddenly step in and threaten her life. Yet even so... as much as she wanted to believe it, she couldn't convince herself about the fact. It was too difficult to believe that the Incubator would just disappear like that. Just in case, she would have to stay on guard at all times.

At this point, she couldn't let herself be stricken by this. Even with this minor setback, she had to keep going!

Trying to motivate herself and make the best out of this hopeless situation, Homura spent her final hour at the hospital writing on a blank piece of paper, jotting down everything she planned on doing once she and Madoka had gotten past Walpurgis Night safely. It wasn't exactly healthy to think about the future when there were so many challenges to overcome in the present, but as long as she could keep herself going, she was sure she could do anything.

Once she was done, Homura crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it into a trashcan. If anyone ended up reading it, things would end up too troublesome.

Walking out of the hospital with a blank smile on her face, if such a thing was even possible, she tried to look hopeful for the future. In her right hand, she held a box of medications that contained multiple pills and syrups that she would need to take for the next... six months? Year? Two years? The doctors weren't sure, but at least until she could make a full recovery. It was a joke, really. After all, how could she _possibly_ take on Walpurgisnacht this way?!

She really needed to stop thinking about her own circumstances. Even though she was behind schedule, she had learned a lot from her previous experiences, so surely this body of hers wouldn't make too much of a difference.

"Nyan!"

A black cat?

Running past a group of bicycles, it paused to glance at her before going off by itself towards the main road with total disregard as to its surroundings. She couldn't help but have a feeling that she was forgetting something as she watched it.

Wait.

 _Madoka's original wish was_ —

There was no way. It had to be a different one. After she first made her contract with Kyubey, it disappeared as if it had never existed in the first place. Therefore, there was no way they could be the same, right? Right?  _Right?!_  It was just a stray, and there were plenty of black cats anyway out there in the world. It wouldn't be the first time she had mistaken a stray cat for Amy.

But wait, wait, just wait.

 _Today is_ —

March the 18th, the day Madoka would first make a contract.

She had always been there to stop her behind the scenes, but at the moment, she was utterly powerless. This was bad, bad, bad, seriously seriously bad.

Frozen, Homura panicked silently to herself, and she could feel her heart throb as if resonating with her terror. Madoka couldn't be allowed to make the contract. She made a promise to stop her from ever doing such a thing, and right now, just thinking about it terrified her.

_Calm down, Homura._

She couldn't calm down.

_Calm down.  
_

In fact, she felt like she was hyperventilating.

_You have to calm down!_

Madoka was going to make a contract, die a horrible death again, and she wouldn't be able to do anything to help her poor friend, and everybody was going to DIE, and this entire city would once more get annihilated by some spinning witch, while Incubator would be sitting in a room LAUGHING ABOUT EVERYONE'S SUFFERING like the emotionless bastard he was

**"CALM DOWN!"**

Shouting at herself somehow did the trick.

Looking away awkwardly from the confused stares of passersby, Homura gripped her glasses tightly as she ran off into the direction of the cat. She couldn't take any chances this time. She had to save Madoka no matter what!

...but even though her determination was burning bright, she found that her feet wouldn't move as fast as she wanted them to, forcing her to jog desperately against a world of darkness and everything in it. After a moment or two, it couldn't even be called a jog. She had quickly depleted her painfully-low stamina and now she was just sort of wobbling forward. Any onlookers would probably get the impression that she was drunk.

Having gotten used to having the powers of a magical girl, being reverted back to such a state was pitiful.

By the time Homura arrived to the main road, she felt like she had run a marathon, and took her time so she could catch her breath. But as pitiful as it was, it would be hypocrisy for her to want her Puella Magi powers back, so she tried to savor her newfound humanity.

It wasn't easy.

Shaking her head, Homura tried to get her thoughts in order.

 _I acted too hastily,_ she mentally told herself, and began to formulate a plan.

_What I need to do first is get home, build some grenades, and buy a baseball bat. Afterwards, I'll disguise myself as a bush, lie in wait by Madoka's house, and hide until Kyubey shows up so I can pound him into oblivion and then demand some answers about my current circumstances. Then I'll convince him that he shouldn't even think about making a contract with Madoka, or . . . else . . .?_

Homura's train of thought was disrupted by a sudden, cute little sound.

"Nyan."

Even though she didn't have her shield, time stood still. Maybe it was because of her experience as a magical girl, but at that one moment, her mind analyzed everything.

Right in front of her was the same black cat as earlier, crossing the street at a casual pace as if it was daring the universe to throw something at it. The universe had responded in kind, and a black car to the left was driving at a fast pace, quite possibly beyond the speed limit. There was no way it would stop in time for the cat. It was going to die. Amy – if it  _was_  Amy – was going to die.

As she recalled, Madoka's wish had been to revive the cat after it was hit by a car. A very noble wish, and it was that sort of personality that she loved so much, but Homura couldn't let her contract.

Fortunately, since Madoka was nowhere in sight, maybe she could simply dispose of the body before she went past this area so she would never know about it. It shouldn't be too difficult, right?

But, in the next split second as her gaze moved to the right, her heart skipped a beat.

 _Mado_ —?

That wasn't an option anymore.

There wasn't any more time for thinking. If she was going to do this, she had to do this  _now_.

_SAVE THAT CAT!_

As ridiculous as it was, she let go of the box in her hands and found her found her feet rushing forward onto the road. Her surroundings no longer registered into her mind, as right now, the only thing that was important was saving that cat.

However, she wasn't moving fast enough.

She felt a burst of wind to her left, and as it appeared, the car was already very  _very_  close. If she had to make an estimate, it was but a dozen meters away. She hadn't even managed to grab the cat yet. Right here, at this very moment, she could die.

Akemi Homura could die right here, trying to save the life of a cat, of all things.

After all that she'd been through, having enduring countless amounts of tragedy and battled against the impossibly-powerful Walpurgisnacht so many times now, making it through everything alive through sheer will, she was about to die in a car crash. Of. All. Things.

_Do you want MADOKA TO CRY OVER YOUR DEAD BODY?!_

There wasn't any time left to regret this decision. She just  _couldn't_  let herself die here, not when her truest friend was here watching!

And she couldn't let that cat die either.

If it died, Kyubey would take advantage of its dead body to make a contract with Madoka for sure. Plus, if she couldn't even save some stray cat, how did she expect to save Madoka?

Pushing her body beyond its limits, the raven-haired girl closed her eyes, let her senses drift off, and imagined that she was running into Madoka's arms. The future beyond that hopeless horizon, secured, without any more need to worry about Incubators or Witches, without any further danger on the same scale, free to live their own lives. Her muscles were burning, but she imagined what the innocent-eyed girl's smiling face might be like, even imagining things that were almost crazy such as a dress – it would without a doubt be pink, made of silk, with a matching flower by her right shoulder and a long veil. Hold on, wasn't that a wedding dress? No time to think about tha

With her arms out wide, Homura almost felt weightless. Well. As much as she wanted it, she wasn't this delusional. If only reality wasn't so screwed up about these things.

She leaped forth.

Managing to grab the cat in time, Homura felt a huge object zoom past her at incredible speeds, very nearly missing it. It might've even scraped past the sole of her right shoe.

Hitting the rough ground with a heavy thud, her glasses falling off, she was exhausted. But happy.

_I—_

_I made it._

Despite the odds, she somehow made it out alive.

For now, anyway.

A pounding pain ate away at her heart, every nerve on Homura's body felt like they were on fire, and heavy pants escaped her mouth. Maybe she'd pushed her body a little too much. As much as she tried to breathe, she couldn't. The air tasted stale. Even though she was a human, she felt like a suffocating fish.

A faint memory of what felt like many years ago floated up to the surface, a certain March the 15th when she was warned by her doctor that she shouldn't overexert her body or else she could damage her heart. Something about inadequate blood flow to the heart combined with a dangerous build-up of cholesterol.

This was pathetic. Even after risking her life and successfully getting away with it, she was going to die anyway from something as minor as heart overexertion.

_. . . Mado . . . ka . . ._

How humiliating.

The only comfort she could take in this was the furry creature on her chest, the assurance that she had successfully saved the cat.

It went on to crawl out of her grasp, not that she blamed it for doing so. She probably wouldn't want to be held by a seemingly-suicidal panting maniac either, well, unless it was Madoka.

Speaking of Madoka, she couldn't help but wonder to herself what she would say in this sort of situation. If the girl ever saw her like this, she'd probably say something along the lines of—

"U- um, hey, are you alright?!"

Yes. Just like that.

That tone of worry mixed in with amounts of shock and panic, the same tone that was used whether it was her closest friend or a complete stranger who'd just done something stupid in front of her. Because that girl cared for all living things. The way it sounded, it was perfect in every way. Homura couldn't help but praise her own imagination for how vividly she'd managed to imagine Madoka's voice, and savored it for what it was worth.

Wait.

Although Homura felt like she was forgetting something very important, she didn't have any strength left to figure anything out. At the moment, the world was retreating before her very eyes.

"H- h- hey?!"

A shade of pink. The warmth of two petite arms as they tried to support a frail body.

Those were the last two things that registered into her mind before she plunged into the darkness of oblivion.


	2. Just Leave Her Alone!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homura becomes a gangster.

Everything around her was in a haze, consumed in a swirl of darkness. The world had disappeared, momentarily giving way to oblivion, only to change its mind and come back for her again. A dizzying sensation surrounded her head, and there was a harsh thumping in her heart, perhaps having stopped for some time only to start up again as if by a miracle. Just like that, blood was being pumped all throughout her body, and yet she felt cold. Tired. Exhausted. 

_Ma..._

How did she end up here? It hurt to try and remember anything, but she still tried her hardest to think back. Something about magical girls. An Incubator.  Time.  A mission that she couldn't ever abandon. Someone she had to save. A girl. A precious friend.  
  
Her mouth opened. "Mado..."  
  
 No matter what happened, there was no way she couldn't ever let herself forget that. The very fact that she had almost forgotten was itself unforgivable, for in this world, it was her one and only comfort. It was unbelievably precious to her, but at the same time, so far away, like a paradise that was close to unattainable.  
  
 "Y- you're awake...? You're finally awake!" A voice chimed in cheerfully, her tone relieved like no other. "I was so worried!"  
  
_MADOKA?!_ Homura's eyes snapped open, all of her memories rushing up to the surface.  
  
"Uh, um, is something the matter?"  
  
Madoka shifted uncomfortably for a moment at her strange lack of response and quietness, as well as the fact that she was being stared at. Although Homura was still a little disorientated, as soon as she realized that she was acting weirdly, she quickly turned away and muttered an apology.  
  
Through the lens of her glasses, she could see that it had gotten a lot darker than when she left the hospital, and that her body was lying on the bench of a bus stop. So after saving that cat, was she found by Madoka? Her mind putting the pieces together, she could pretty much tell what happened while she was out.  
  
"Sorry," Homura said quickly, looking back. "For wasting your time, I mean. It must've taken a while for me to wake."  
  
 "Mm, it's okay." Madoka shook her head and smiled, as though there was something pleased her. "You know, you were really brave out there, you know, jumping in to save that cat! I've never seen anything like it before! I- I'm actually still in a bit of shock right now, but I'm glad you did it!"  
  
"I wasn't thinking though. I could've easily died."  
  
"Well..." An uncertain look crossed the pinkette's face for an instant, before being replaced by an even bigger smile. "I'm glad you didn't, then... You know, when you collapsed, I was worried sick and th- thought for a second that you might've been hit after all or, or something...!"  
  
Her voice was a little shaky, to the point that it made Homura wonder whether she'd actually been crying before. But that thought disappeared as Madoka sighed in relief, clasped her hands together and looked at Homura gratefully, unaware of the fact that she was making the girl's heart beat faster.  
  
"I'm really, really glad you made it, you know."  
  
A light, luminescent blush began to glow on her cheeks.  
  
Now that she was thinking straight, it was getting more and more difficult to ignore the fact that they were sitting directly next to each other, enough for one of them to lie against the other. But she resisted the urge and tried to act natural. In truth, she wasn't actually sure whether to go through with this or push Madoka away, but this was a rare opportunity. Without her powers, she needed all the ground she could get in this timeline.  
  
"Oh, that reminds me," Madoka said suddenly, and reached down under the bench as if to pick something up. "You dropped your um... things, when you rescued that cat, so I brought them here with me for you. Here."  
  
Holding out the white box with a single green stripe, the one from the hospital, Homura felt embarrassed as she took it. There was no doubt that Madoka would know that it came from the hospital, and if she'd looked inside, it might affect the way she thought about her. The amount of medications inside would be enough to make anyone dizzy.  
  
 "So, um... Ummm... Hope you don't mind me asking, but-"  
  
"Yes. I have arrhythmia," Homura said with her eyes closed. "It's a heart problem. If I strain myself too much, then I'll most likely end up collapsing like just now."  
  
At this, Madoka's eyes widened, and her expression changed to a really worried one.  
  
"Wait, but then why did you…"  
  
"I simply couldn't let it die. That's all." Opening her eyes again, she stated this in a cool tone whilst crossing her legs. "It was a duty I had to fulfill."  
  
 It might not have been the complete truth, but it wasn't a lie either, so she absolutely found no problem with putting it that way.  
  
 Madoka seemed unsure about what to think of it at first, yet in the end, she smiled yet again brightly. "I don't think you should do that again, but you know, that's, that's really cool! Even though you have a condition like that, you still tried your hardest to do the right thing. I kinda wish I could be braver to do things like that too..."

"Oh, I'm sure you're fine just the way you are."

"Still..."  
  
As the younger girl looked on in admiration, Homura kept her breathing steady, being secretly glad that it was already dark. Otherwise, her blushing face would've been plain and clear. What was with her feelings today? Normally she'd be able to act cold and composed under these circumstances, but now that she was actually a human again, things like this were getting to her so easily.  
  
After a passing silence, Madoka continued, "Um! If you don't mind, what's your name?"  
  
"It's Akemi Homura."  
  
"Ehhh?! You even have a cool name to match!"  
  
If this continued, then she might end up having another heart attack out of sheer embarrassment. It was even beating faster. It was silly, really, since it wasn't like this was the first time they'd been so close, but maybe being a human again was contributing to her accelerating heartbeat.  
  
"What about you?" Homura asked. Not that she didn't know, but she didn't want to accidentally raise any suspicions. "What's yours?"  
  
"I'm Kaname Madoka. It's nice to meet you!" After introducing herself, the pinkette pouted. "It's not nearly as cool a name as yours though, Homura-chan."  
  
"Madoka means 'circle'. It's simple, but I think it's cute," Homura reassured her with a smile.  
  
"T- thanks, I guess," Madoka replied awkwardly. "But you know, it's written in hiragana..."  
  
"Don't put yourself down. For example, I have severe heart disease, but what do I look like?"  
  
"You look very gloomy, Homura-chan."  
  
A baffled expression formed on the raven-haired girl's face.  
  
"Eh—?"

 

* * *

  
  
Saturday, March the 19th

Homura wiped sweat away from her forehead, before putting the manual onto the desk in front of her once she was finished. That should do it. Using the instructions from Hara Hara Tokei as well as materials she bought on the way, she had successfully created a set of grenades to help with her mission.  
  
There were still some things she retained from the previous timelines, and even if she no longer had her magical girl powers, this way she wasn't completely defenseless against Witches and their familiars.  
  
This apartment had been an expensive one, coming with a unique design and many ultramodern settings from within, and when she took out the keys to open it a short while ago, she remembered how her parents had given her this before leaving her on her own. For many timelines now, she'd been taking it for granted, so it was strange to remember this now of all times.  
  
She glanced at her phone, which now had Madoka's number. Only a single contact, but the thought of it was comforting. It was a miracle that they'd managed to become friends this fast as well.  
  
Looking at the time, it looked to be almost one o'clock in the morning. It wouldn't be long now until Kyubey made his first appearance, and she could remember the exact time that he would appear on Madoka's windowsill. While she knew that she couldn't prevent their meeting, at the very least, she could delay it. Taking a golf-stick along with her and putting on a thick jacket with a hood, she left the residence before heading out towards Madoka's house.  
  
Her body felt weak and tired, her mind sleepy, but she dismissed it and pressed on. The Kaname residence wasn't that far, located within a suburb north from her home, so it didn't take long to reach. As expected, all the lights inside of the modernist house were off, but she hid within the outside bushes just in case. Any second now, and that bastard demon would appear.  
  
As she waited, she briefly entertained the possibility that he might not exist in this timeline. If that were so, then there wouldn't be anything left for her to worry about, and she would be able to enjoy this new future without having to do anything. There wouldn't be any Puella Magi, or Witches, or despair. No Walpurgis Night to worry about, and no need to be so concerned over her friends. The time ticking by without anything out of the unusual showing up, her hopes for this were starting to rise...  
  
...but they were shot down completely as a familiar feline creature, with white fur, haloed long ears, and ruby eyes descended from the skies and landed onto the ground in front of the house.  
  
There needed no further proof.  
  
_"What—?"_

Kyubey was caught completely off-guard as a strange, rabid girl with a bloodlusted look suddenly jumped out from the bushes and pummeled him to death without mercy.  
  
Constantly beating his defenseless body over and over again while trying to make as little sound as possible, devoid of any remorse, the only thing left when it was over was an unrecognizable, fluffy, bloody mess. Homura wasn't sure whether this was a triumph or not. She had delayed Incubator's contact with Madoka for the time being, but now she knew that nothing else had changed apart from her own predicament. If things were like this, then there was no telling how many more times she would have to put her life on the line in order to accomplish her goal.  
  
Having come prepared, she scooped up the remains using her hands and put them into a plastic bag, leaving the area before her presence could be noticed. In the middle of the night, with a hoodie that shadowed her face, a golf-stick with dark stains on it, a plastic bag with blood-red splotches, her footsteps uneven, she must've looked incredibly suspicious.

But although she felt faint, she had to keep on going until she could reach and store the 'trash'.  
  
She'd heard that in western cities, disposing of things were much easier. There were trashcans lining the streets, and nobody ever bothered to sort them out. It sounded disgusting, but it would've been extremely convenient if there was something like that here. But instead, she would have to hide it inside her own home.  
  
Just as she arrived back, facing an aging European-style building that contrasted with the modern interior, she found a second Kyubey sitting patiently in front of the door.  
  
_"You can see me, so that means you must have magical potential,"_ he stated in a calm, cute voice, disguising the heart of an utter monster. _"But why did you do that? I don't get it."_  
  
The creature gestured towards the plastic bag in her hands, and even though he knew that it carried the remains of his own kind, he showed no trace of caring. It was no surprise, since it didn't possess any emotions.  
  
Gritting her teeth together, trying to contain her anger, Homura responded.  
  
"Leave Madoka alone."  
  
_"Why?"_  
  
That was more than enough to make her snap.  
  
 "Do I need a reason?!" Withdrawing the golf-stick using her free hand, she threw it towards him with a yell. However, he ignored this, letting it sail over his head and slam into the wooden door behind him, opening it while leaving a slight mark. "Just leave her alone! Don't make a contract with her! It's that simple, dammit!"  
  
Kyubey remained nonchalant at her words, keeping that catlike smile fixed on his face.  
  
_"You're not making any sense. Explain."_  
  
"JUST DO IT!"  
  
 Its tail swinging to and fro, the Incubator remained quiet for a few seconds, as if actually thinking about it.  
  
_"Well, perhaps if you can find someone else in her place, approaching her may not be necessary,"_ he told her after some consideration.  
  
Without even stopping to think, Homura threw the plastic bag straight towards him. Inches before it hit, Kyubey telekinetically froze it in mid-air before tipping it over, letting its disturbing contents spill onto the ground. A nasty smell came from it. Then he observed the fluffy remains for a short moment, as if examining it for its nutrition.  
  
Knowing what would follow and knowing that her stomach most likely wouldn't be able to take it, Homura ran back into her home and slammed the door shut just as the sounds of crunching began.  
  
Even afterwards, they could be heard outside, but they were eventually drowned out by her own sobbing. By snapping out at Kyubey, she had unwittingly let down the barrier holding back her emotions, and her worries started to come forth like a tidal wave.

Things were getting worse and worse, to the point that it was getting hard to imagine how much worse it could get. Would she really have to sacrifice other, nameless girls for her own gain? And even if she did, was there any guarantee that Kyubey would stay true to his words? No, there was no way in hell that he would, judging from her previous experiences. Trusting him and following his directions were a mistake, attempts to mislead her. Even the very way he phrased that was most likely rendered vague enough for him to justify approaching her at a later time.

So far, it appeared as though she was powerless to stop anything, to change anything. There wasn't ANYTHING she could do like this, and things weren't going to change. In fact, they were probably going to get even worse. The only option left, it seemed was to make a contract.  
  
But . . . she knew that she had to conserve her wish. She knew that it was her greatest trump card, and that wasting it wouldn't do any good.  
  
 Upon making her way back to her room, Homura took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself, but it wasn't working. Rather, her heartbeat weas getting more and more out of control, increasing in intensity like a beating drum, and it was becoming even harder for her to keep the tears from flowing. It wouldn't do her any good if she let herself be affected this easily be the hopelessness of the situation. She couldn't save anyone this way. Especially not Madoka. 

Forcing her hands to move, she spent the last five minutes taking some of the many medications laid out for her, before ultimately lying down on the bed and silently crying herself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Later that day, sometime in the afternoon after school hours, Homura decided to make a call.  
  
"Eh? You're transferring into my school?! Into the same class?!"  
  
Madoka sounded really surprised, unable to contain her shock even over the phone. Homura smiled a bit at this. She had never actually thought about it before, but it was nice to have a friend to make her first, lonely week seem more colorful. The events of the earlier morning were   
  
"Yes. Due to instructions from the hospital, I'm supposed to limit any movement and take a week of rest, but things should be sorted out by next Friday."  
  
"Oh, o- okay, um... Oh yeah! I'm the nurse office's assistant, so if you're feeling weak, just tell me, alright?"  
  
"Got it," said Homura with a nod, forgetting for a second that she was on the phone. Then, sensing an opportunity, "oh, Madoka, if someone gives you a chance to grant your wish, don't acce..."

Her voice faded away as she heard someone call out in the background, resembling the voice of a certain blunette. Shortly afterwards, Madoka returned to the phone with a concerned tone.  
  
"Um, sorry, Homura-chan, I'm gonna go out with my friends now. You can take care of yourself, right? Sure there's no need for me to come over?"  
  
It couldn't be helped. "I'm fine by myself. What's important is that you have fun. Don't let me stop you."  
  
"Well, if you say so… I'll introduce you to Sayaka-chan and Hitomi-chan when you come, okay? See ya!" And with that, the call ended.  
  
Upon placing her phone on a desk besides the bed, she sighed heavily. That conversation really exhausted her, and though she did try, she couldn't find a single opportunity to talk to Madoka about wishes. Or maybe she did, but she was just reluctant to bring it up. After a bit of reflection, she decided that it was probably the latter.  
  
In the previous timelines, Homura would have spent this time gathering necessary equipment from the Yakuza and military, in preparation for the time when Walpurgisnacht finally appeared. But right now, until her first day at Mitakihara Middle School started, giving her the opportunity to interact with Madoka, her friends, and potentially Mami as well, there honestly wasn't much she could do apart from rest and recover. The past few days had drained her of what little energy she had.  

So for now, all she could do was wait and see how things progressed. 

With enough luck, she may still be able to grab a hold of this circle before it spiraled out of control.


	3. Are You Alright?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homura makes new friends.

Friday, March the 25th 

 

Today was a peaceful day.

As Homura walked out from home, wearing the all-so-familiar uniform of Mitakihara Middle School for the 'first time' and holding a small bag in her hands, her red-framed glasses keeping everything clear as her dark hair flowed behind her, she felt better than usual. Even as she walked past piles of worn-out buildings that disrupted what would otherwise be a beautiful, clear sunny day, she didn't mind nor notice.

Having managed to make friends with Madoka beforehand by sheer luck, she even felt a bit excited, although she knew deep down that this was the day when things truly began to heat up. This was only the beginning of this timeline, and there were going to be many obstacles in the near future, which was why she would have to be as prepared as possible. Her grenades were prepared inside her bag just in case, disguised as soda cans. That way, she would be prepared when something unexpected happened.

"Nyan."

Her attention was caught by a by a little black cat sitting by the pavement, as if having waited for her. It was the same one she saved two weeks ago, and this time, she wasn't very surprised to see it.

Certainly a strange cat, one without a collar or owner yet perfectly clean with barely any traces of dirt. Perhaps it had some way of cleaning itself. Looking down at Amy, she felt like she was forgetting something.

"Little black cat, are you alright?" she asked spontaneously, and it made a gesture that might've been a nod before looking down at the ground.

"Nyaaaan…" it purred weakly.

"I I know. You're hungry, correct?" It made her smile as she recalled a distant memory. "Look, I have cookies. Would you like some?"

Reaching into her bag, she took out a small box, opened it, and took out a few cookies. Then, kneeling down, she gave them to the cat. It stared at her at first, then nibbled the edges suspiciously, but once it was convinced that they were safe, it started munching on them with enthusiasm.

 _So small, and yet all alone,_ Homura thought as she got up again.  _Every day, it has to take care of itself, lick its own wounds, find its own food, and if it dies one day, nobody will care._ "Amy, do you think you'll ever give up someday?"

The cat looked up from its meal with a puzzled expression, and seeing it almost made her giggle.

"Forget it. I was just talking to myself."

Then, after flicking her hair to help her relax, she went on her way. Having talked to a cat and given it all of her cookies without a reason, she couldn't help but feel a little silly, though maybe a little silliness was what she needed to keep herself calm. There was no way that she'd ever be able to save Madoka if she spent her time being depressed about every single little thing.

Stopping before the school gate, Homura had to take a deep breath first before entering. Even after having done the same thing over dozens of times, still she felt the need to mentally prepare herself. After all, if she went into class in a nervous, stumbling mess, then it was only going to make her current situation worse. Now that she thought about it, why hadn't she gone to meet up with Madoka on the way to school? Oh well, it was too late for that now.

Finally, after taking a deep breath, she went in.

 

* * *

 

"Okay! Now that that's done, I'd like to introduce a new transfer student to everybody."

The familiar voice of the teacher, Ms. Saotomo, could be heard speaking to her class from the glass corridor, though perhaps that was because she was so attuned to listening to this scene that she could hear things even from half a block away, even over her own echoing footsteps and thoughts. She was ready for this. Having repeated it so many times now, there was no way she could mess it up even if she tried to.

"Come on in, Akemi-san!"

Calmly, keeping her pace not too fast but not too slow, Homura walked into the classroom. Whispered exclamations spread across the students, such as 'she's cute!' and 'whoa, she must be super-smart!', but she remained quiet while making her way to the whiteboard, before glancing at an excited, waving Madoka. Noticing that Madoka had just started wearing the familiar red ribbons in her hair, her heat beat faster. With a smile, she waved back, which only served to stir the crowd even more. But as she paid a little more attention, from the corner of her eye, she could feel the blue-haired Sayaka regard her with great suspicion.

"Now, please introduce yourself," the teacher, gesturing towards her.

"My name is Akemi Homura," she spoke out in a confident manner. "It's nice to meet you all."

Turning around, knowing what would happen, she could see that Saotomo-sensei was having trouble with writing her first name in hiragana, so she took the marker herself, her hand moving on its own. How many times had she written her name on this same whiteboard in the past, again, and again, and again, such that she had long since lost count, such that her writing style had long since ceased to be recognizable to herself? Once more, like an echo of those times, the marker traced a 'ほ' (Ho), then a 'む' (Mu), and finally a 'ら' (Ra).  Even her own name, written with high finesse, seemed alien to her.

 

Once she was done, she bowed to everyone, and as if breaking a spell, they all broke into applause, with Madoka clapping the loudest. Knowing this was more than enough to warm up her heart.

"Well, er…"

At a loss of words due to the impressive show, the teacher nearly forgot what she was going to say, but managed to remember it before it slipped her mind.

"Ah yes! Akemi-san has been hospitalized for a long time due to a heart problem, so it's been awhile since she's been to school. That's why, please understand that she may not be familiar with some things. Everyone, do your best to help her when you can!"

Sometimes the teacher would remember, and sometimes it would slip her mind - this time, it was the latter. This information acted as the fuel for the class to start chattering amongst themselves, and many of them probably wanted to unload a ton of questions onto Homura as she made her way to her seat at the back. Indeed, shortly afterwards when break came, her table was surrounded by other girls in her class. She tried to answer each of their questions patiently, as she'd done so many times before.

"Akemi-san, which school did you go to before?"

"I went to a Christian school in Tokyo."

"What club were you in? An art club? Or the literature club?"

"I wasn't in any."

"Your hair looks so gorgeous! What shampoo do you use?"

"U- um, excuse me! Homura-chan!" Standing at the back of the small crowd was a nervous Madoka, and as their attention turned to her, it probably didn't help one bit with her confidence. In fact, she was shaking. "Y- y- you're still a bit unwell, right? So um, since I'm the class n- nurse, I think I should show you where the nurse's office is..."

"Is that so? In that case, Akemi-san, would you like us to accompany you as well?"

"Eh?!" Having not expected this, she gave Homura a pained expression, begging to help her with this. It seemed like she wanted to talk about something, though it wasn't clear about what.

With a nod, the raven-haired girl held her forehead to show that she was sick.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," she told the crowd, getting up from her chair. "I feel somewhat lightheaded anyway, so it would be best if I'm taken by the one in charge."

Madoka let out a breath of relief, and proceeded to lead the way out. Just before they went out, Homura turned around to see that Sayaka was eyeing her with deep suspicion, possibly even more so than in past timelines. That wasn't a very good sign. Still, it had to wait another time.

Once they left the classroom, she let out a sigh, though they were still in plain sight due to the glass-like structure of this school. The sound of the other classes talking amongst themselves could be heard, though faintly, and their presence outside of class no doubt attracted a few stares.

"I- it's this way," the timid schoolgirl called out, awkwardly walking around a corner and turning her head round every few seconds to see if her friend was still there.

"You don't have to be so nervous." Homura was bemused by her weird behavior. "Is something the matter, Madoka?"

"S- s- sorry! I, um," Fumbling about her words for a bit, it took a while for her to figure out what she wanted to say. "I just wasn't expecting you to be so cool, that's all… Wehehe~"

"Sorry if I scared you," reassured Homura, and she stopped to breathe a little.

It looked as though they'd stopped by an empty hallway up in the air, and a familiar one at that. Then again, there wasn't much that wouldn't be familiar to her in some form. From here, it would look as though they were standing upon a platform in the sky.

"So, is that what you wanted to talk about?"

"No! I mean, well, how should I say this?" Waiting patiently, it looked like Madoka was trying hard to find the proper words. "Um, okay. If I tell you, promise not to laugh, okay?"

"I won't, I promise you."

She couldn't help but admit that she was both confused and intrigued by this, since this event wasn't something that happened normally. Standing still, she paid close attention.

"Alright. Well, last night I had a dream. About you," Madoka began, but she stopped just to see if Homura was going to start laughing or anything.

Instead, she looked completely serious, which encouraged her to continue.

"So um, I remember that you were in this strange outfit fighting a huge monster in the sky all by yourself with the city in ruins. I think I was screaming out your name, and there was this little furry animal talking to me about wishes and magical girls, but I can't really remember what he was saying since I was so scared for you, and the last thing I remember is you running up towards me in the middle of all the ruins…"

"I..."

_How?_

 "I see."

_How how how how how how HOW HOW HOW HOW DOES SHE...?!_

_...Homura, calm down._

It took a little while for Homura to process this through her mind, and then once Madoka's words had finally sunk it, she had to try her best to contain her complete and utter shock upon hearing this. It seemed to be an accurate retelling of what transpired in the previous timeline, but how could it be possible for Madoka to dream about it?

Was this Kyubey's doing, by any chance? Was it? Could he possibly be trying to sabotage her mission already?! Had he reacted so badly to their previous encounter that it had driven him to go on the initiative? How did he even find out?!

The thought made her fists clench, but on the outside, Madoka looked scared after misinterpreting her dark expression.

"D- d- d- don't misunderstand! It's not that I wanted you to get hit by one, and it was a really really strange dream!" Since this was coming about all of a sudden, Homura gave her a very confused look. "Please don't get angry at me, because I do care for you a lot, Homura-chan, and I don't want to see you hurt! I'm really glad you're okay! So that's why…"

"It's... It's okay, I-" Homura mustered the strength to respond and explain herself, but it turned out that it wasn't needed.

"Oooooh, what do we have here?" Another voice chimed in impishly, and Madoka jolted. "Confessing on the spot, Madoka? Hehe, how brave! But you know, it's known as forbidden love in here, so I can't say I approve of this!"

"E- e- eh, Sayaka-chan, since when were you there?!" Her face blushing heavily in embarrassment, she turned around to see Sayaka. "It- it's not what it looks like, okay? I was just telling Homura-chan that I care about her, and well, I, I'm not interested in that kind of stuff! At all!"

"U-huh."

"Really! Really really!"

"Yeah, yeah, just wait until Hitomi hears about this~" Sayaka joked, taking her by the hand. "By the way, classes have almost started, so we should get back quickly! Come on!"

"Sayyaaaaakkkaaaa-chaaan, you're not listening to meeeeeeeeeee!"

At a loss for words, Homura watched as Madoka was dragged away by her best friend, unsure as to whether or not she should just let it be. Taking a step towards them, she was tempted to raise her voice and call out—

However, her intentions were silenced as Sayaka turned around and glared at her coldly. It was only for a split second, and she could've easily missed it had she blinked, but the venom contained within was unmistakeable. Watching them return back to the classroom, being friendly with each other, it wasn't something she wished to disturb anyway, but she knew from personal experience that she needed to be constantly wary about the other girl. For now, it didn't matter.

More importantly, how could it be that Madoka dreamt about the past timeline? That couldn't be possible, could it? She considered asking Kyubey, but after a bit of thought, it might be for the best if he didn't know what was going on, else he try to interfere with her goals. This was, of course, assuming that he played no part in it, which Homura severely doubted.

 _This is only the beginning,_ she repeated to herself, and this time she wouldn't have her magical powers to help her.

Since she only had one wish, she would have to think it over very carefully. Wishing for something as reckless as  _'don't ever make a contract with Madoka'_  straightaway, and then being unable to repeat the cycle if things went horrible anyway, would be extremely dangerous.

Because of that, she would have to proceed carefully from this point onwards.

 

* * *

 

"I had no idea you could keep a secret," said Sayaka with a wide grin on her face. "I mean, you didn't mention her at all, so when you said something about a 'secret friend I'm gonna introduce you to' this morning, I didn't really believe it until the transfer student walked in and the two of you were like, really friendly with each other!"

"I'm surprised as well, Madoka-chan," Hitomi added.

Madoka giggled in response. "Well, I wanted it to be a surprise for the two of you! Wehehe~"

"It's nice to meet you both," Homura greeted them in a calm manner.

Having only just entered the café, she felt tense, but hid it beneath an air of subtlety and coolness. She was sitting next to Madoka, while the tomboyish blue-haired girl called Sayaka and the refined green-haired one called Hitomi sat on the opposite side of the table.

When she entered through the glass-domed mall, she could remember attracting more than a few stares from other people around her, but she was used to them by now. She'd already ordered her drink, so if the speed was anything like the later dates she came here, then it would take approximately one and a half minutes to come. But these were minor notes, and all thoughts about them were swept away by the fact that she was sitting next to Madoka again.

From here, being so close to her pink aroma, it was nearly impossible to resist the urge to snuggle up against it, yet at the same time she was far too self-restrained to ever let herself to do so.

"Did the two of you meet online?" asked Hitomi all of a sudden, upon taking a sip from her straw. "You both seem tense and not very used to the other."

"Well, that's…" Homura opened her mouth, but was cut off.

"Eh? Madoka, sure I can agree with, but Akemi looks as still as a rock," Sayaka interjected, waving her spoon about. "How could you tell, Hitomi?"

"I don't think you'll be able to understand. You see, when you grow up in a certain way, you learn to suppress your outer emotions," Hitomi explained in a gentle voice. "Being too expressive can be a bad thing sometimes. I've been raised that way myself, so it isn't difficult to recognize signs from others."

"That so? Oooohhh."

"That's an amazing talent, Hitomi-chan," Madoka added in, clasping her hands together.

Homura blinked in surprise. If anything, she certainly hadn't been expecting that to come from somebody she'd barely ever gotten to know in all the past timelines.

For a second, she glanced at the greenette, examining her for the very first time in a long time. The last must've been when she lent out her mathematics notes to help a then-inexperienced Homura, in a distant timeline she could no longer remember. After that, the girl had just sort of faded away from her mind as unimportant, but with a talent like that…

 _Can she tell what I'm thinking?_ She wondered warily.

"We met two weeks ago, under a strange set of circumstances," Homura explained, her drink coming shortly afterwards. Deciding it wasn't important, she nonchalantly sipped the coffee from her straw.

"Hey, Homura-chan," Madoka began, and Homura's attention quickly turned towards her. Maybe a little too fast. "How come you're so good at everything in school? Everyone was really impressed with you."

"She totally failed at the athletics though! I'm not going to forget that scared look of hers when she was told to jump!" Sayaka laughed out triumphantly, actually sounding relieved at this, making a gesture as if wiping sweat away from her forehead. "Seriously, I should've taken a photo of that."

"Sayaka-chan, that's not very nice," pouted Madoka.

Hitomi sighed. "She's been staying at the hospital for half a year now, so it's only to be expected. She must have used that time to study academics, right, Akemi-san?"

"That is correct." Homura nodded. As she moved her head, her glasses tipped down her nose somewhat, and so she calmly pushed it back up.

It wasn't actually true, but she hoped to hell that Hitomi's foresight didn't include figuring out about how magical circumstances had her repeat the same tests and questions over and over again until they'd been fully memorized, about how she made a wish to a devil from the stars so she could repeat the same things over and over again in order to save her very best friend, about how she had to suffer over and over again while having her hopes crushed time and time again, and so on and so forth.

"Akemi-san," Hitomi said. "Do you mind if I make a comment? Some constructive criticism, if you will?"

Though she didn't show it, Homura was starting to panic beneath the surface.  _Don't tell me she really can—_

"It's about your glasses."

Oh, that was all? As relieved as she was, she couldn't help but be curious as she raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I don't think they suit you very well," continued Hitomi. "You have this amazing aura, Akemi-san, and maybe they fit better a year ago, but those glasses look childish and out of place currently. In all honesty, it makes you look like some sort of otaku, or even  _chuunibyou_."

At that, Sayaka almost choked on her drink as though she'd been the one addressed, and Madoka turned to her best friend with a shocked expression, but Homura herself simply nodded, seeing her point.

"So what do you suggest I do?"

She hadn't actually put much thought much into the glasses after being forced to wear them again, and apart from being constantly reminded that they were a necessity in this new timeline, they just sort of went by unnoticed in her mind. It never occurred to her to change them to better fit her new, hardened self before.

"I'd normally say to take them off, but that won't help if you're near-sighted. Instead, you should go find a better pair of glasses. If you want, I'll help pick one for you."

"Hmm." Unsure about it, she turned to the girl sitting next to her for an answer. "Madoka, what do you think?"

"Uh, um, I think it'd be great if you could help her look cooler, Hitomi-chan!" Madoka replied awkwardly, surprised that her opinion had been asked. "I mean, I guess it's true that Homura-chan's glasses right now look a bit silly~"

_A little...'silly'?_

Somewhere in Homura's mind, something cracked.

_She just called them 'a little silly', right?_

_A little silly..._

_A little silly a little silly a little silly a little silly a little silly A LITTLE FREAKING SILLY...?!_  

As those three deathly words repeated themselves over and over uncontrollably in her mind, taking up most of her thoughts, Homura had obtained the newfound conviction of searching for a new pair or glasses.

"Oh, look at the time!" Hitomi exclaimed suddenly, looking at her phone, and she began getting her things as she stood up. "Excuse me, I have to leave now. Sorry, Akemi-san, maybe we can do this another time."

"Which is it this time? Piano lessons, classical dance?" asked Sayaka.

"This time it's Japanese tea. We'll be tested soon, so I don't know how long I'll have to study there."

"Heh, it must be nice to be born into a middle-class family…" Sayaka remarked in a fake-remorseful tone. "Akemi, you're probably in one as well, right?"

As Hitomi left, Homura turned to face her and answer her question. Her mouth opened—only for nothing to come out.

It was a simple question, wasn't it? About family. She just needed to say so. Simple.

She just needed to—answer.

Thoughts without form raced into her mind, and without even realizing it, she was mentally scrambling for the answer to that question. It was weird, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't figure it out. It was weird. She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember anything before that sudden day when she got a heart attack for the first time and was hospitalized.

Did they ever visit her? Did they ever even send flowers? What were their faces like?

It had been so long now that she was finding it very difficult to remember. Within moments, she found herself mentally panicking as she tried to find an answer to that simple, yet impossible question.

Luckily, Madoka saw through her distress almost straightaway, and stood up from the table.

"W- we should leave too, don't you think?"

"Probably."

With a shrug, Sayaka let it be and got up, before leaning over the table with a grin. It seemed like she had some plans of her own.

"Hey, Madoka, wanna go to the CD store on the way home?"

"It's for Kamijou-kun, right? Alright," replied Madoka, smiling in understanding. Then, as if just remembering about her other friend, she decided to add, "Oh, can Homura-chan come too?"

A subtle, cold breeze passed by. The blunette frowned for just a short instant before replacing it with a smile, a forced smile where the edges were twitching in annoyance. Mechanically turning towards Homura, with this forced expression, she wasn't sure what to answer. But after some consideration, she let out a tired sigh, as if admitting defeat.

"Yeah, yeah, she can come too. If she  _wants_  to, anyway."

"That would be appreciated," said Homura.

 

* * *

 

It was five o'clock, and the sun had begun to set.

Despite having a bad feeling the whole time while checking out music with Madoka and Sayaka, having felt as if there was some sort of ominous presence close by, nothing happened, much to her relief. It must've been paranoia then, since she was so used to unexpected things happening. Now, she was a little disappointed that she hadn't bought a CD or two. It might've been nice listening to music in order to pass the time.

However, at the same time, she felt as though she was forgetting something, something that was supposed to happen today. It was probably something related to Kyubey though, and should he dare to approach them out in the open, she would be ready for him. In her mind, she was already forming multiple scenarios to get rid of him without the other two noticing, even in her current state.

"See you tomorrow, Homura-chan, Sayaka-chan!"

Smiling, Madoka waved goodbye to her friends before going on to merrily walk down a separate path.

Satisfied with this, Homura proceeded onwards to walk down the other path. Carrying her bag the whole way through was tiring, but as long as she didn't exhaust herself by running and kept a steady pace, she should be able to make it without any problems.

Though to her distaste, even if she knew that this was going to happen, she and Miki Sayaka found themselves walking down the same path. The air was cold between the two of them.

 _It's only three minutes before our roads differ,_ she reassured herself.

Surely enough time to reach home before something happened.

"Hey, Akemi—san."

Sayaka's footsteps stopped in their tracks, and her tone was one filled with reluctance.

"What is it?" Homura asked.

The sunset was directly ahead, the sun itself almost completely over the horizon.

"Er, er, I'm sorry if I've been a little cold to you today, Akemi-san!"

Sayaka admitted this in a regretful voice, forcing herself to say the words out loud, and she bowed in apology as she did so.

"I wasn't sure what to think of you at first, and to be honest, if I hadn't seen you struggling during sports, I wouldn't be able to trust you. I guess it just came as a shock when I found out that Madoka had a secret new friend, and you're probably going through a lot within since this is your first time hanging outside the hospital, so um . . . yeah. I'm sorry!  _Truly_ sorry!"

The type of tone she used was a vaguely familiar one, and thinking back, it was very similar to the tone she used in the first few timelines back when they were closer friends. There'd always been a void between the two that neither of them seemed able to cross no matter how hard they tried, conflicting even when they agreed on the same thing, and Homura never once believed that it was worth getting close to her again after all the trouble she caused for Madoka and the others.

But here, things were going in a different direction. Because she had shown an unsolvable flaw during school and Hitomi pointed out about another, Sayaka was currently making the effort to trust her, as Madoka's friend.

Perhaps the friendship they once had a long time ago could still be repaired. With this in mind, Homura turned around with a faint smile as she was about to accept Sayaka's apology—

However, she froze in place as a butterfly caught her eye.

_Please don't tell me._

It was quickly followed up by her and Sayaka's vision being derided with hallucinations, colors of green and yellow were beginning to paint over their surroundings, the ground getting softer, and a faint pounding could be heard as quick flashes of butterfly patterns, flower patterns, and many other things were appearing all over the place, the entire scene being highly unnatural and psychedelic in nature. Her senses were screaming out to her that something just outright  _wrong_  was happening, and somewhere at the back of her mind, a voice was subtly telling her to kill herself kill herself kill herself kill herself.

_Please, no! Not here... Not **now!**_

Worst of all, she knew  _exactly_  what was happening, and cursed the world for this timing.

But it was happening, and there was nothing to change this as the pavement and buildings distorted, transforming into something akin to a hallucination given form.

The background sounds of cars and urban life were drowned out, replaced by excited, inhuman chattering that emanated from not too far away. The sky had turned into something that looked like a sliding ceiling resembling it, and the buildings had been taken over by random cardboard cutouts of things that made no sense, including long thorns, faceless businessmen, circles, candy canes, garden fences, and most of all, walking butterflies.

Just looking at these things were enough to make Homura's heart beat faster, and she covered her mouth with both hands, trying to contain her panic.

"W- wha- what's happening to the town?! Where'd the road go?!"

Behind her, Sayaka appeared to be even more terrified. "H- h- hey, Akemi-san, w- where are we?! What exactly is happening?!"

"That's…" Unable to answer, Homura's voice trailed off.

Her thoughts were scrambling through what little options they had, searching for some sort of solution if there was any at all. This was a horrible, horrible situation to be in.

"Seriously, just what's going on here?!" Sayaka screamed out.

In response to her plea, abnormal creatures emerged from their hiding spots, looking like tiny fluffballs with mustaches, butterfly bodies, and impossibly thorned limbs, gathering together and circling around the duo with obvious hostility, creeping out Sayaka and blocking out whatever chances they had at survival. The most they could do was throw their bags at two of the familiars and hope that it would give them some sort of opening to run away, but even if it worked, where to? There wasn't an exit in sight.

_Du mußt verstehn_

The familiars paused, as if examining the two girls.

_Aus Eins mach' Zehn_

_Und Zwey laß gehn_

_Und Drey mach' gleich_

_So bist du reich_

Their scissor-like hands snipped again and again, in tune with their high-pitched, chanting voices. Homura was sweating, desperately searching her mind for a way out of this utterly hopeless situation. Kyubey was nowhere in sight.

_Verlier' die Vier_

_Aus Fünf und Sechs_

_So sagt die Hex'_

Suddenly, she remembered the grenades she made. Well, of course. They'd been made specifically in case an occasion like this happened. But Sayaka was here as well, and if she used them in front of her, then that would mean destroying what little hope for friendship and trust they had. Could she really do it?

_Mach' Sieben und Acht!_

_So ist's vollbracht!_

No. It couldn't be helped. It was either survive or perish. There was no other option.

"Stay close behind me, Miki-san!"

Due to her racing heart, her mind was getting fuzzy, and she clumsily fumbled around with the zipper to her bag as the familiars began their slow approach, starting to reach a decision that seemed to include their sharp bladed limbs, their malicious intent now obvious with hellish black eyes having formed on their 'faces', more thorned limbs protruding out from them.

Dumping the bag onto the ground so that she could concentrate better, once she managed to open it, she shoved both hands in and took out two seemingly-normal soda cans.

_Und Neun ist Eins!_

_Und Zehn ist keins!_

"T- the hell?! Akemi-san, this is a really bad time for a drink right now!" Sayaka yelled at her.

"Be quiet," replied Homura, who was trying to concentrate as she held them against her mouth.

_Das ist das Hexen-Einmal-Eins!_

Then, using her teeth, she tore the pull-tab off the first disguised grenade and then the second in quick succession, before hurriedly flinging them to the left and to the right. It was just in time too, because the strange beings had been almost upon them when their attention was caught by violent explosions blowing up a fair number of their ranks.

Knowing that this was their chance, she took Sayaka's hand and tried to run through a gap in the creatures' formation, only to find herself lagging and being dragged forward by Sayaka's superior strength and speed instead.

As they ran through the bizarre realm as fast as they could, being closely pursued by the enraged familiars, neither of them bothering to waste their breath on asking questions or talking, Homura trying her best not to trip while holding onto her bag, they came across a door and entered it without hesitation, slamming it shut afterwards.

However, on the other side wasn't freedom, but a deeper level of the barrier. This time they looked to be in a room with crisscrossing staircases, indistinguishable portraits floating about, and there were many more familiars roaming the area.

Not only that, but Homura was feeling weak. Her vision was getting blurry, and somewhere along the lines a crack had formed on the lens of her glasses. Her breathing was becoming uneven. Sweat trailed down through her body. Truth be told, she wasn't sure how much longer she was going to last before fainting, and she had to lean onto Sayaka in order to prevent her feet from giving way, forcing the two of them to walk.

If they were noticed by the familiars, then there would be no way for both to outrun them. At this rate, there was no way they were going to make it like this.

"Damn it!" The blunette cursed, and Homura might've done the same were she not utterly exhausted. "How do we get out of here?! Is this even real?!"

"There's one more . . . grenade . . . in my bag," Homura managed to muster in between pants, trying in vain to slow her breathing.

"Why do you even have stuff like that, Akemi?! That's just insane! Do you know what's going on?!"

Even though they were practically walking for their lives, barely clinging onto survival, she still had the urge to yell. Less than a minute ago, she'd been filled with regret for her uncalled-for behavior and wanting to make up for it, but now ended up being suspicious of everything once again. In order to save their lives, Homura had to bring suspicion upon herself again.

_Why did this have to happen? Honestly, why?!_

As if things couldn't get any worse, Sayaka shrieked as a gigantic, deformed monster jumped down from the top of one of the staircases and hit the floor smoothly like an insect.

****  


Devoid of any resemblance to humanity whatsoever, its body was composed from the many parts of a butterfly, but perverted, displaced, even inverted, giving it an unsettlingly disturbing appearance. Homura recognized it from her past experiences. It was the Witch of this barrier, one which she'd killed many times without a second thought in past timelines. But this time, both girls were too paralyzed by terror to make a move against this twisted monstrosity of nature.

"This must a dream," Sayaka muttered in a trance. "I'm having a nightmare, right...? RIGHT?!"

Even with one grenade left over, there was no way that they'd be able to take on something like this. It was all over.

In her last moments, Homura's thoughts were rushing wildly.

This was all Kyubey's fault! Everything was Kyubey's fault! THAT DAMNED KYUBEY MUST'VE BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SOMEHOW. Homura couldn't be fooled. She knew his plan. She knew what he hoped to gain. It was a perfect plan of his, and it was executing flawlessly. She knew that he planned on her dying here, she knew that he wanted her out of the picture so that he could manipulate Madoka via her and Sayaka's deaths and then have her make a contract with him, and then STEAL HER SOUL and TORTURE HER TO THE BRINK OF DESPAIR. AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. She could even feel his presence close by, coming closer and closer, based purely on her instinct. No doubt he wanted to savour their deaths like the sadist he was—

_"Looks like we found you just in time!"_

Wait, was that Kyubey's voice?

Just as the Rose Garden Witch lunged for the two human girls, it was suddenly sent flying into the air by a powerful barrage of glowing yellow bullets coming from behind, each and every one erupting in rhythm.

"Are you alright?" A composed voice asked, and Homura turned around, recognizing the person instantly. "That was really dangerous, huh? But it's safe now, so you can both relax."

Sayaka stared at her in a daze, and murmured "Who are you?"

"Right. I suppose I should introduce myself... But, before that!"

Opening up her hands, two magical muskets materialized out of thin air, and she spun as she grabbed hold of them. Even as the witch opened up its wings and began to dart straight towards her, seeing her as a threat, she didn't seem to care. Showing absolutely no fear, as if she were used to facing things like it, the magical girl launched herself into direct combat against the abomination.

"Let me take care of this first!"

Within that moment, seeing her like this, Homura had never been so grateful to meet Tomoe Mami in her entire life.


	4. Please

"My name is Tomoe Mami. Like you, I'm a senior at Mitakihara Middle School…but not only that, I'm also a magical girl who made a contract with Kyubey!"

_"And I'm Kyubey! I want you to form a contract with me and become magical girls!"_

They made it sound like a good thing. What a joke.

The Rose Garden Witch had been dealt with shortly and elegantly, and shortly afterwards she and Sayaka were led to Mami's apartment. While her heart condition gradually managed to recover, mentally, she'd been so exhausted that the next few hours had passed by in a rush. She didn't even notice the crack on one of the lens of her glasses.

"Since the two of you have been chosen by Kyubey, you're not strangers to me anymore, so I'd like to explain some important things."

The person sitting before them now was called Tomoe Mami. With fair skin and long, blonde hair stylized into drills, she had a sort of warm aura around her. She was a veteran magical girl who had fought plenty of Witches in the past.

However, she didn't really understand what it meant to be a magical girl. Not yet. Even though she'd been one for years, she knew nothing of the horrible truths that lay beneath the surface.

"This is a Soul Gem. It's a precious stone, made from the contract formed between Kyubey and a chosen girl. It's a source of magical power and proof of a magical girl's identity."

She didn't know what a Soul Gem really was, or how exactly it was related to the nature of a magical girl.

_"I can grant a single wish. It can be anything, and I'll be able to grant it how matter how miraculous it is!"_

It took all of Homura's energy to keep herself from shoving her fist into Incubator's face, and she despised every moment of seeing him talk. Every single second this abomination existed was a second he might use to make Madoka's life more miserable, and the way he gazed at her with those mockingly-red eyes made it clear that he was aware of how she felt.

_"But in doing so, a Soul Gem will be made."_

He didn't care.

" _The receiver of the stone then has to fight Witches as a magical girl."_

The emotionless bastard didn't care at all. Manipulating little girls, corrupting their innocence and dooming them to a fate of nothing but darkness.

The apartment they were in had always been a nice, comfortable, and spacious place with a nice view and delicious food, but as time passed on and dusk settled in the sky, the light coming in through the window had an orange tint that made the atmosphere somewhat eerie to Homura, making it difficult for her to contain herself throughout the flawed explanation. The feeling was so strong that she couldn't even bring herself to drink the tea and cake in front of her.

She was the only one who felt this way. And always would be.

"What are Witches? Are they any different from magical girls?" asked Sayaka, having seemingly let go of the whole grenade thing by then. Compared to all these recent fantastic events, magic and wishes, she must've forgotten.

 _"If magical girls are born from wishes, then you could say that Witches are born from curses,_ " answered Kyubey. _"Magical girls spread hope, while Witches spread despair. What's more, they can't be seen by normal people. They're pure evil. Doubt and suspicion, rage and hatred, they bring seeds of catastrophe to the world."_

"Unreasonable suicides and killings usually stem from the curses of Witches. This unseen enemy is moving against the hearts of the people," Mami continued on in a grim, serious voice.

"If such dangerous monsters exist, then why doesn't anyone know about them?"

_"Witches always remain hidden and would never reveal themselves to anyone. The maze-like structure you were trapped in earlier was a reality marble, a barrier of theirs."_

"It was really dangerous, wasn't it? People who are swallowed by that world never return alive, and I was only able to reach you two in time because of Kyubey."

Homura reconsidered her opinion. _Actually, it isn't that she doesn't understand. She knows how dangerous it is better than anyone. _It's just that she doesn't know the true nature of a magical girl,_  _she thought.  _If she ever learned the truth, then it would be too much for her. It's all she has left._

"When you were fighting that butterfly monster, you made it look easy. But all the same, isn't it really terrifying?" asked Sayaka.

"Yes. Every time I go out, I put my life on the line. That's why the two of you should think this over carefully. Since you've been chosen by Kyubey, having been given the opportunity to fulfill any dream, would you be willing to face death at any given moment?"

The blunette sighed. "It's a pretty hard decision to make, huh?"

"Therefore, I have an idea. Why don't you accompany me in vanquishing Witches for a while?" Mami suggested calmly. At that, Sayaka stood up from her seat in surprise, while Homura kept herself under control. "In doing so, you will come to understand  _exactly_ what it means to be a magical girl. Use your very own eyes to verify, whether fulfilling your dream is worth risking your life. You need to consider this seriously."

Having not spoken a single word throughout the whole thing, Homura reached to pick up her own now-cold cup of tea, only to realize that her hand was shaking. Why was that? It wasn't characteristic of her.

Was she frustrated at being unable to set right all of Kyubey's lies? Was she scared of facing Witches as a normal human? Was she worried about failing?

No.

She was  _excited_ , because right now, Kaname Madoka was very, very far from this cycle of suffering and despair.

...not that this triumph of hers would be worth much.

 

* * *

 

When Mami was done with her introduction to the world of magical girls, they exited back out into the second floor of the apartment, it was already late, the sky dark with a waning gibbous moon up above. Presumably, the time was around six or seven o'clock. Not stopping to look behind at Mami's waving figure, she continued on, with Sayaka following from a distance.

Once they were outside, the raven-haired girl gazed past long, ominous street as it stretched all the way towards a bridge, on the other side being their homes. The natural river that ran alongside the path was calm, but unsettling all the same, as it reflected the last weak moonlight and was contrasted by the many tall buildings on the other side.

She considered saying something to the girl behind her, perhaps to ask her if she planned on making a wish, or perhaps to talk about magical girls. Small talk. Surely, there was enough time to do so before they reached an intersection. Perhaps if she just made an effort, then their friendship could still be salvaged, somehow.

"Hey. Akemi."

Or perhaps not. Sayaka's footsteps stopped in their tracks, and her tone had a certain edge about it.

"What is it?" Homura asked, slowly turning around to face the girl in question.

The air was filled with tension. It was obvious that neither really wanted to hold this conversation, but at the same time, there was no way it could've gone by ignored.

"Back then, while we were in that Witch's, er, a barrier, was it? I'm really grateful that you saved my life and all, but I just wanna know. What  _were_ you doing with hidden grenades in your bag? I can't see how someone who just came out of the hospital would even have them, and now that we've learned about magical girls and other stuff, I guess there's something bigger to the picture. There is, right? I really want to trust you, Akemi, I do, so . . . could you please tell me what's going on?"

The type of tone she used was a vaguely familiar one, and thinking back, it was very similar to the tone she used in some timelines when the two of them were allies whom struggled to trust each other. There'd always been a void between the two that neither of them seemed able to cross no matter how hard they tried, conflicting even when they agreed on the same thing, and Homura never once believed that it was worth getting close to her again after all the trouble she caused for Madoka and the others.

And now she saw that this void would always be there, that neither of them would ever be able to have the same connection they had a long time, and that a partnership between the two was no longer possible. Sayaka was currently making a big effort to try and trust her, as Madoka's friend, but the problem was that she just couldn't be trusted.

The weak ideals and the emotions of this girl would always get in the way, no matter what, and she would never understand about what was importantly, until it was too late. That was why she couldn't know, and why Homura couldn't answer.

The next few moments went by without a sound, as though silence had fallen onto the city around them.

"I see," Sayaka said after a long while, her face darkening. "So that's how it is."

"I- I apologize," Homura began, starting to panic. "But it's just, that I can't—"

"Save it."

Even after having gone through this kind of thing over and over, it still felt like a dagger piercing into her heart. She was losing control of herself, and a headache was beginning to beat in her mind. Without even giving so much as a glance, Sayaka walked past her, the wind blowing against them coldly.

"Are you . . . going to . . . make a contract with Kyubey?" she asked dryly, finding it difficult to say anything else.

Sayaka stopped in place, just for a moment. "I'll have to think about it, but probably, yeah. There are so many people in the world who really deserve this opportunity more than we do, and at the same time, I'll be able to protect my friends as a hero of justice. That's good enough for me."

"Of course." She knew what she was referring to, about that disabled boy in the hospital whom she had a crush on, but it was pointless to attempt to dissuade her, nor was it worth trying. Things were exactly the same as they were before.

The girl moved to walk further on ahead.

"W- wait!" Homura yelled, maybe a bit louder than necessary. Sayaka stopped once more. "Just promise me one thing. Please."

"Oh?"

"Keep Madoka out of this. I don't want her to risk her life or become a magical girl. Don't tell her anything about this, and don't let Kyubey get anywhere close to her. Please. For her sake. "

After a passing moment, Sayaka turned around one last time to give Homura a cold, sideways look, and said only a single thing before leaving.

"You creep me out."

 

* * *

 

Saturday, March the 26th 

 

The winds were a bit stronger today, and the sky wasn't quite as clear as it was a few days ago, with clouds here and there. Even so, it may have been relaxing had there not been so much tension in the air. It was midday, and she was currently sitting at the large, pearl-white school rooftop, having lunch with Madoka by her side.

She should've been able to enjoy it, but after yesterday, it wasn't very easy to do so.

"Hitomi-chan and everyone else were really panicking when you turned up with a broken lens, Homura-chan! And wasn't it embarrassing to go through the whole day like that, wehehe~?" Madoka asked lightly, trying to lighten up the atmosphere, but her words didn't do much.

"Yes, Shizuki-san said she'll take me out shopping later tomorrow," replied Homura.

"Oh, okay, um… Oh, Sayaka-chan! I just realized something! Since we have two friends who are model students now, don't you think we should study harder?"

"I guess so," replied Sayaka.

As Madoka looked here and there between the two, a worried expression crossed her face, and all of her efforts weren't doing much. Homura wanted to comfort her, but it wasn't easy to laugh after having very nearly escaped death, and if she did anything, it might set Sayaka off even more.

"U- um, Homura-chan, did something happen between you and—"

"We're fine!" Sayaka breathed out, from the opposite end of the bench, sitting as far away from Homura as possible without falling off.

"Did you two fight? If so, you should make up, you know! It's not good to—"

"Nothing happened," Homura maintained in as calm a voice as she could muster.

"Homura-chan, Sayaka-chan, I'm kinda worried..."

"Madoka, if you had one wish that could be granted, what would it be?" Sayaka asked right out of the blue, a blank look on her face as she stared up at the sky.

"Eh?" Surprised, it took her a little while to understand the question. Homura looked towards Sayaka as if to convey a telepathic message saying  _'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING'_ , but with Kyubey having been pushed out of the way, she was unable to do anything of the sort. "U- um, I'm not really sure, I've never really thought about it. I dunno, um, but maybe…"

Homura drew a sharp breath. 

"I don't think making a wish is worth it," she cut in. "If you cherish the life you have now, and if you consider your family and friends precious, then you shouldn't try to change it. Otherwise, you might end up losing everything you love."

"I guess that's true," muttered Madoka.

"But what if there's someone who really, really needs it?" Sayaka said harshly, standing up.

"Such as?" asked Homura.

"What if he have an injury or something? What if he can't do the things he used to anymore?"

"Then that person should learn to enjoy what he does have, and what he can do."

"What if he's unable to enjoy his own life?!"

"Then he should cherish what he has, instead risking it all on something he doesn't even fully understand."

The truth was that everything Sayaka believed in was flawed. No doubt she'd put some thought into making a contract and the potential consequences a night before, but she lacked the understanding to do so properly.

Whether they know it or not, all human beings are inherently selfish. Selfishness itself isn't bad, and the selfish desire to achieve a goal or desire a person is perfectly natural. It's normal to act selfish, and therefore, a lot of people would wish for money or prosperity.

This wasn't always a good thing. Some people had lives that they never realized was perfect, and thus by making a wish, they threatened to ruin it by introducing a factor that should've stayed within the realm of imagination. If anyone had to be given such an opportunity, it would have to be someone whose wish was either completely selfish, or completely selfless. Otherwise, they would be betrayed by their own desires and fall into Incubator's trap.

No matter how the details varied between each timeline, this sort of thinking had always been what led to her downfall.

"Alright, let's say that he's trapped in a hospital room, unable to leave or do anything, he has a talent he loves to do but can't do it anymore, and people rarely ever visit him. Can't you understand what that's like?! To be alone like that, and never live a normal life?!"

For a moment, Homura just stared at her incredulously.

Did she... Did she honestly just say that?

"Miki, why are you always so…"

This was another of Sayaka's flaws. She always let her emotions get ahead of her. Always saying things without thinking-

"Sayaka-chan, Homura-chan was in a hospital for two years! That's a lot longer than Kamijou-kun!" Madoka interjected sternly, standing up from her seat with a distressed look on her face. "Now please, both of you, stop fighting! Just stop, ** _RIGHT. NOW!_**  I can't understand why you're both fighting over some wish!"

Silence fell upon the rooftop.

"We should stop," said Homura after a while, breaking the silence. While she appeared calm on the outside, her heart had nearly stopped in fright.

"Y- yeah," Sayaka replied, also shocked by Madoka's sudden outburst.

.

.

.

Then, over the next ten minutes, they had to make themselves work together to try and convince her that there was nothing wrong and constantly apologizing, as well as continuously pleading for her forgiveness. In the end, they were forced to smile and shake hands with each other. While this didn't actually accomplish anything in mending their friendship, at least Madoka was satisfied with it.

A familiar figure walked out from the shadows of the entrance.

"I see that the two of you are getting along," Mami said warmly, and Homura couldn't help but frown.

Had she watched the whole event unfold, or had it been a coincidence that she appeared then? For some reason, possibly coming from her instincts, Homura had a feeling that it was the former.

The blonde was holding a yellow jewel in front of her as she approached. Judging by the faint glow coming from it, there was either a familiar nearby, or a Witch some distance away from the school. She turned to face Madoka.

"Excuse me for intruding, but can I borrow Miki-san and Akemi-san for a little while?"

"Uh, ummm, did they do anything wrong, senpai?" Madoka asked, looking really worried and trying not to make herself look as if she'd almost cried.

"Well, not really," chuckled Mami.

"It's alright, Madoka," Homura reassured her as she got up and put away her lunchbox. "We'll be fine."

"Okay, but..." Madoka glanced at Mami for a moment with a wary expression. "That doesn't make me feel any better…"

"Don't listen to her! We'll be back before school ends, I promise you that!" Sayaka exclaimed, giving her a thumbs-up as she ran off to Mami's side, in direct contrast to her attitude not too long ago. "See ya later, Madoka! Now, let's go and kill some witches, Mami-san!"

At that, the pinkette seemed to freeze. "K- k- kill?!"

"Miki-san, you have to make an effort to be more secretive," The blonde reminded her lightly.

As the duo walked off, leaving a very puzzled girl, Homura stayed a little while longer to ease her mind a little.

"Don't worry about Miki, it's only an expression. We just need to do an errand for the third-year students."

"Oh... That so?"

Madoka let out an uncertain sigh, before looking up to face Homura directly with what seemed to be a serious look, surprising her.

"Homura-chan, I know this might be a bit abrupt but... can you take care of Sayaka-chan? I know she can be rash sometimes and say things without thinking, but she's a really nice person! That's why, if you have the chance, don't let her do something stupid. Promise?"

This was odd. Even though she knew nothing about magical girls, even though she didn't know about all the lives that were on the line, she was still requesting such a thing. Even though they spent almost all of two weeks talking on the phone to each other and establishing a friendship, they'd only met in person the day before.

"Why . . . why are you telling me this?" she asked, stunned.

"Huh?" Madoka blinked in confusion, as if it were obvious. Then, upon realizing that Homura really didn't know, she grinned and said, "Because we're best friends, silly!"

Once again, Homura's heart almost stopped.

 

* * *

 

Sunday, March the 27th

 

A few things to note.

First off, the enemy Mami showed them turned out to be a familiar. While no Grief Seeds were dropped, she'd used the chance to cleanse her Soul Gem of the energy she used with the one she obtained from the earlier Witch, as well as explain some more things to her two apprentices.

Second, Sayaka now acted nice towards her whenever Madoka was around, but would then revert back to an aloof persona once she was gone. Mami had definitely noticed this odd behavior.

Third, Hitomi had taken her to the shopping mall to find a new pair of glasses, and somewhere along the lines she ended up being dragged along to buy unrelated things such as dresses, hats, and other fashion accessories for her to go with it. Since it all went by in a blur, at the moment, she had yet to determine who had spent most of the money.

Homura was standing in front of a mirror, with somber, silky long hair flowing behind her, and on the other side was a girl of intelligence and determination. The glasses that she now wore were nothing like the childish, squared red frame she had before. They were black and had a sort of classic feel, being firm, well-rounded and fitting her perfectly, as well as better when it came to correcting her vision, as the previous one had unknowingly been a bit off by a few feet.

Appearing like this, she felt more confident. If Madoka were here, then she would definitely call her 'cool'.

Speaking of which, even though it was absolutely ridiculous in this situation, she decided to uphold that promise she made.

True, there were various obstacles in the way, first and foremost being the whole dilemma with her crush, the violin kid Kamijou Kyousuke. He had a seriously paralyzed hand, and the only way to heal it was with a wish - the standard healing magic of magical girls didn't work, as she'd already tried out more than several dozen times in the past. Realistically speaking, it was extremely unlikely that she would be able to make him just accept his cripple and drop playing the violin altogether.

But even so, Madoka must be right, about there being a chance to save Sayaka. There had to be some way, something she hadn't thought of yet. She just needed to make the effort to find out what that way was, then do it.

_It can't be helped. I'll stop her._

_Without my powers, she might listen to me better, and if I can avert the future somehow, then a large amount of pain for Madoka might be averted!_

"I won't let Sayaka make a contract," she affirmed to her reflection.

 _"I don't understand you,"_ Kyubey's voice rung through her head, as he entered in through an open window and settled on an empty desk by it.  _"I assumed you planned on allowing me Miki Sayaka in place of Kaname Madoka. Have you changed your mind?"_

Disgusted by his presence, Homura didn't respond at first. She'd been expecting him to appear, yet all the same, made a mental note to keep all windows and doors shut tightly to prevent him from entering like this again.

"You won't leave her alone, and you never will. It's just another one of your lies," she spat out. "Isn't that correct?"

_"Well, yes. While I cannot lie, I did suggest to you that we had a deal, thereby allowing me to approach her without any more hindrances. It's safe to say that you're aware of her unusual potential as a magical girl. I'm currently wondering if you were a factor in it."_

Instead of replying to this blatant, inhuman statement, Homura turned to shove her fist into the white creature's face, only for her to stumble down as a sudden, throbbing wave of pain coming from her chest spread throughout the rest of her body, her vision getting blurry and her senses failing her.

_Dammit!_

Writhing on the floor, her breath escaped her, and trying to take in more oxygen only made the pain hurt even more. Her consciousness was threatening to black out.

_Why is this happening here of all places?! What's with this bad timing?!_

But as she mustered the strength to look at him again, she saw that his eyes were glowing—and then she realized what he was doing to her.

 _"I haven't approached Madoka in quite some time, so you can relax. Instead, I have spent my time researching you. _No matter how you look at it, it isn't logical for a human to randomly kill an unsuspecting unit, and demand that we avoid a specific target,_ " _he continued with an unchanging tone, his voice as obnoxiously clear as ever _,_ but it was difficult to listen what with the heart attack that was KILLING HER and all.

_"You have met Tomoe Mami only recently, and as you rarely seem to use the internet, an online magical girl friend is out of the question as well. You spent a long time in the hospital due to an unusual case of arrhythmia, and you've been ignored by your family as an disgrace. We never encountered you while you were conscious, so there is no plausible way for you to have ever known about our existence and the nature of Madoka at the point in time you chose to attack me, and even if you did, the amount of violence used was unprecedented."_

She didn't want to hear anything, and she couldn't even muster enough energy to try and decode whatever he was talking about. His words only muddled up as a pressure exerted its force onto her mind. Everything was fading away.

It hurt, it really, really hurt to concentrate upon anything, anything at all, and numbness was starting to take over from all the pain. It almost was like relief, as all her senses drained away and stopped her from feeling anywhere. However, it was also even scarier, as it felt as though she was disappearing into nothingness.

_"But it seems that your medical records weren't a fabrication. You do have an irregular heartbeat brought about by multiple symptoms, and it's easily triggered, considering that both your physical and your mental state are in poor condition."_

She mustered the strength to ask, "Why don't you just . . . kill me now?"

She hated him.

SHE HATED HIM SO, SO MUCH.

_"Don't misunderstand, Akemi Homura. While your potential doesn't even come close to Madoka's, it's still unusually high. Normally, we only get levels like that from places such as Afghanistan. Do you honestly think I'll let you go?"_

And then it stopped.

Taking in large gasps of air, Homura's head started to clear up, but she still struggled to pick herself up with an even weaker body, mentally cursing and yelling swear words at the one responsible all the while. She should've known before that since she wasn't a magical girl, opposing Incubator would be almost impossible.

Without the power to stop time, gather guns, or even cure herself of her arrhythmia, an ordinary girl couldn't possibly hope to stand against the design of an alien race.

But she would still try. She didn't need to save the entire human population—just one girl. All she needed was for that one girl to be saved.

"Don't you dare come close to Madoka!"

 _"I still cannot determine the cause of your behavior."_ Then, _"Do you want to make a contract with me and become a magical girl?"_

"Out, NOW!" As soon as she could stand, Homura gripped one of Kyubey's long ears and hurled his body out of the window, though instead of falling, he gave her a glance before floating away. One of the many things he was capable of was levitation.

Once he was gone, she took out her phone with hands even paler than before. The device felt heavy.

Madoka needed to be called right away, and they were going to have a long, important discussion about making wishes and avoiding creepy rabbit-like cats with ruby eyes that could talk. More important than anything was preventing her from making a wish.

Then, with all of her accumulated knowledge, she would utilize it to successfully prevent Sayaka from making a contract.

Afterwards, once Kyouko inevitably visited Mitakihara, she would somehow arrange for her and Mami to team up for the eventual appearance of Walpurgisnacht in just over a month, and prepare them for it.

If even that wasn't enough, then Homura would have no choice but to form a contract herself and have her wish granted. This was her trump card, her final back-up plan.

As much as she wanted to use it to protect Madoka, to make it so that she wouldn't be able to see Kyubey or something along those lines, the possibility remained that she might end up in a dangerous situation, and if that were to happen, then there wouldn't be any way to save her. Moving Madoka into another town wouldn't help, because then, she would still be targeted by the Incubators.

There didn't seem to be any clear way out of this.

That was why, all she could do right now was hope. Hope that everything went smoothly, and hope that they could make it past the dreaded First of May safely.

Not that hope ever did anything for her in any of the past, countless times she had to repeat this cycle.

_Please, let it be different this time._

**Author's Note:**

> You know, even if she isn't a meguca anymore, BEING HOMURA IS SUFFERING YO.
> 
> ...
> 
> Well, this has actually been on FF.net for quite a while now, but I thought that 'hey, maybe I should post it here too' so that others can share in the complete and utter DESPAIR she'll be suffering throughout her desperate quest~ So there you go.


End file.
